comedy

Book of the Day: Rarity from the Hollow

Today’s Book of the Day is RARITY FROM THE HOLLOW by Robert Eggleton. In addition to the book feature and excerpt, we will also have an opportunity to find out more about the author and his writing next week when he’ll be back for an interview! I would also like to note that author proceeds from this book support the prevention of child maltreatment: http://www.childhswv.org/

1 Rarity Front Cover WEB (2)

Lacy Dawn’s father relives the Gulf War, her mother’s teeth are rotting out, and her best friend is murdered by the meanest daddy on Earth. Life in the hollow is hard. She has one advantage — an android was inserted into her life and is working with her to cure her parents. But, he wants something in exchange. It’s up to her to save the Universe. Lacy Dawn doesn’t mind saving the universe, but her family and friends come first.

Rarity from the Hollow is adult literary science fiction filled with tragedy, comedy and satire. A Children’s Story. For Adults.

“The most enjoyable science fiction novel I have read in years.” —Temple Emmet Williams, Author, former editor for Reader’s Digest

“Quirky, profane, disturbing… In the space between a few lines we go from hardscrabble realism to pure sci-fi/fantasy. It’s quite a trip.” — Evelyn Somers, The Missouri Review

. “…a hillbilly version of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy…what I would have thought impossible; taken serious subjects like poverty, ignorance, abuse…tongue-in-cheek humor without trivializing them…profound…a funny book that most sci-fi fans will thoroughly enjoy.” — Awesome Indies (Gold Medal)

“…sneaks up you and, before you know it, you are either laughing like crazy or crying in despair, but the one thing you won’t be is unmoved…a brilliant writer.” –Readers’ Favorite (Gold Medal)

“Rarity from the Hollow is an original and interesting story of a backwoods girl who saves the Universe in her fashion. Not for the prudish.” —Piers Anthony, New York Times bestselling author

“…Good satire is hard to find and science fiction satire is even harder to find.” — The Baryon Review

“…Brilliant satires such as this are genius works of literature in the same class as Orwell’s ‘Animal Farm.’ I can picture American Lit professors sometime in the distant future placing this masterpiece on their reading list.” — Marcha’s Two-Cents Worth

5star-flat-web

Excerpt from RARITY FROM THE HOLLOW:

(Chapter 32: “The First Sexual Harassment Complaint on Shptiludrp”)

Scene Prologue: Rarity from the Hollow includes political allegory, parody, and satire. Long before Donald Trump was on the political radar, it predicted his rise to political power. In the story, Lacy Dawn, the eleven year old protagonist, is a most unlikely savior of the universe. At this point, readers have learned that the universe faces an imminent threat. An android named DotCom (a recurring pun in the story) was sent to Earth to recruit and train Lacy to fulfill her destiny. She changed the android’s name to “Bucky” to cover-up its true nature, assembled and prepared a team to diagnose and address the threat, and took her team to planet Shptiludrp (Shop Until You Drop), a giant shopping mall and the center of economic governance for the universe. The following scene is the team’s first meeting with the Manager of the Mall and takes place in the only high rise office building on the planet, now easily identifiable as Trump Tower.

…Lacy Dawn scanned across a desk larger than her bedroom and lowered her gaze until just above the desk top. In an oversized swivel chair behind the desk sat a humanoid…. Mr. Prump stood up…. He extended a small hand with six fingers, each of which had at least two overly large golden rings.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Lacy Dawn,” he ignored the others….

“He looks almost just like that short guy on those taxi cab reruns,” Dwayne whispered. “What’s that actor’s name?” (Dwayne, Lacy’s father, is an Iraq War damaged Vet who suffered from PTSD, night terrors and anger outbursts until cured by the android since he had refused treatment by the VA hospital. Dwayne, an expert used car salesman, plays an important role on the team and worked very hard to save the universe in an effort to achieve Lacy’s forgiveness past abusive behaviors.)

“Shhhh,” Lacy Dawn glared.

“I have a complaint to make,” Lacy said to Mr. Prump.

“Oh?” Mr. Prump sat down, opened a drawer, and shoved a form across his desk in her direction. “Please call me Mr. Prump.”

Hospitality has been extended to her entourage.

The form ran out of momentum half-way across the desk. Lacy Dawn extended and retracted because it stopped well short of her reach.

That’s too far regardless of obligatory respect.

“I was not aware of any dissatisfaction of any type, sir,” Bucky reverted to his role as DotCom in the presence of his long-term authority figure. Lacy Dawn gave him The Look and trumped.

“Your elevator operator just told me that I have a nice ass,” she said.

Dwayne started for the office exit to get the offender. Lacy Dawn pushed him toward one of the chairs in front of the desk. Tom grabbed Dwayne’s arm. (Tom is Lacy’s neighbor. He is a wealthy “back to the land” marijuana dealer who relocated to The Hollow when he concluded that city life aggravated his Bipolar Disorder.) Then, Tom and Lacy Dawn had to restrain Bucky’s attempt to go after the offender.

Lacy and Jenny stood alone in front of the desk while the males sat. Jenny moved to her daughter’s side. (Jenny is Lacy’s formerly downtrodden mother whose self-esteem had been enhanced after the android had replaced her rotting teeth with new ones.) Brownie growled. So did Bucky. (Brownie is the family mutt and the only member of the team with enough empathy skills to communicate with, at this point in the story, vile invaders of the universe.)….

Mr. Prump shoved another form in her direction with the same result. The complaint forms were the only papers on the desk….

“Tree says that to me all the time,” the receptionist said from the doorway. “Would anybody like something to drink or a snack?”

Nobody responded except Mr. Prump. He extended a cup that had been on his desk, but the gesture was ignored.

“That’s different, you…” Tom started but Lacy Dawn’s look cut him short.

“The females of those people got no figures at all — straight up and down,” the receptionist said. “I wouldn’t take it personally, Lacy. All males from that planet become infatuated with any curve on any body that they think is female. He’s a nice person once you get to know him.”

“Regardless, it was inappropriate for him to tell me that I have a nice ass.”

“Yeah,” her team said in unison. DotCom was the loudest except for Brownie’s bark followed by another growl.

“I ought to kick his ass for talking trash to my little girl,” Dwayne said.

I’m such a juvenile.

Lacy glared at him again.

“Sorry,” Dwayne hung his head.

“Further,” Lacy Dawn continued. “I’m not about to do business with any planet that permits the sexual harassment of its visitors or employees to go undisciplined.”

Jenny sat down.

“Yeah,” the receptionist said.

Mr. Prump sank deeper into his seat….

“I’m never going to sit on your lap again unless I want to,” the receptionist said. “And, as for anything else, you can just forget it from now on unless you take care of this. Take care of the whole problem on the whole planet — equal respect for all people — within their financial means, of course.”

“Take a memo to Division Managers with a copy to All Staff.”

Lacy Dawn stood alone before the desk. He dictated the memo and she listened.

It’s pretty good. There’s procedure for making sexual harassment complaints, investigation, due process, and penalty.

“That’s all for now. I’ll contact you tomorrow to begin negotiation of terms,” she said.

Mr. Prump asked her what time but she didn’t answer. Lacy Dawn had concluded her first meeting with the most powerful being in the universe and had beaten him in negotiations.

Purchase links:

http://www.lulu.com/shop/robert-eggleton/rarity-from-the-hollow/paperback/product-22910478.html

http://www.amazon.com/Rarity-Hollow-Robert-Eggleton-ebook/dp/B017REIA44

http://www.doghornpublishing.com/wordpress/books/rarity-from-the-hollow 

Public Author Contacts:

http://www.lacydawnadventures.com

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32993259-rarity-from-the-hollow

https://www.facebook.com/Lacy-Dawn-Adventures-573354432693864/

https://twitter.com/roberteggleton1

https://plus.google.com/b/108662084126982201049/108662084126982201049/posts

https://www.linkedin.com/in/robert-eggleton-909b154b?trk=nav_responsive_tab_profile_pic

 

Categories: authors to watch, book excerpt, book feature, book of the day, comedy, excerpt, literary fiction, science fiction | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Interview with Kylie Betzner

Today marks the release of Kylie Betzner’s new novel, The Quest for the Holy Something or Other. She’s here to speak with us about her book, but before we get started, let’s have a look at the cover and blurb:

Enter the Realm of Camelot, home of famous legends: King Arthur, Sir Lancelot, and Merlin—but this isn’t their story. Meet Pig, a humble gong farmer who dreams of the glories of Camelot. Her dreams become reality–or so she thinks–when she becomes Sir Kay’s page. What starts off as a joke soon becomes the adventure of Pig’s life when Merlin sends the knights on a quest for the Holy Gift Box–er–Bread Basket–whatever it is! On their quest, they face many knight-worthy, and some not-so-knight-worthy, foes: an insane pond dweller, several greedy salespeople, and an overzealous cache seeker, all the while fighting against time, mostly each other, and the most infamous villain of all—change. The Quest for the Holy Something or Other is a fresh and funny take on a well-known legend, with engaging characters, some rather good jokes, and something that starts with S, but it isn’t important.

 

The_Quest_small_coverWelcome, Kylie. Can you tell us a little about yourself?

Well, first of all, I’m an author with one of many published books under my belt. Yay! Also, I’m an incurable nerd, a self-identified coffee junkee, an amateur comedian, and the world’s worst auntie (according to my nephew anyway). I have a twin sister who also writes. I’ve recently gotten into cosplay. Tauriel from the Hobbit trilogy was my first character costume.

When did you begin writing?

I began writing before I could actually write. Haha. When I was five or six I used to illustrate stories with my sister. My current writing is much better;)

Can you tell us about your most recent release?

The Quest for the Holy Something or Other is an Arthurian parody that pokes fun at the universe while satirizing human behaviors relevant to readers today. The book centers around the misadventures of Sir Kay and his page, Pig, as they search for an elusive holy object. Meanwhile, Merlin takes advantage of the knights’ absence to make some “changes” to Camelot’s social structure. The novel explores themes of change and value, but mostly it’s a story about friendship. This is my debut novel and it’s on Amazon.com.

How did you get the idea for the book?

Honestly, I have no idea. I’ve always been a fan of the Arthurian legends and parodies of. I just decided one day to write my own. Simple as that. I knew I wanted the story to center around a quest, but the rest sort of just came to me while brainstorming with a writer friend of mine.

Of all your characters, which one is your favorite? Why?

I’m going to have to choose Pig just because she’s optimistic, cheerful, hilarious, and loyal to a fault. She can be pig-headed (no pun intended) and self-righteous, but all-in-all she’s a admirable person, albeit a fictional one.

What was the most challenging aspect of writing your book?

For me, it was getting the story into order. There were all of these things I wanted to happen during their quest but deciding on a logical order for these events to occur proved challenging for some reason. Thank goodness for the beta readers and editors who helped me sort the scenes out.

What is your primary goal as an author?

My primary goal is to make people laugh, to entertain as many readers as possibly, while simultaneously helping them grow as people. I write humorous stories with themes in mind. I don’t hammer them in the readers’ faces, but I believe great literature is meaningful.

What projects are you currently working on?

I’m currently working on a 3-book comedic fantasy series (with a few additional standalones) that tells the story of an outcast named Mongrel who comes to his own in a hostile fantasy world with the help of his friends: Margo–a wizard’s apprentice who really doesn’t want to be a wizard, Laerilas—a magically-challenged elf, and Little Hammer—a dwarf appropriately named for her weapon of choice. With their help, Mongrel becomes more than what his name implies and the only possible hero they can find. (Real synopsis in the works).

What advice would you offer to new or aspiring authors?

My advice for other indie authors can be summed up in three parts: 1) write what you love and only what you love. No one ever found happiness and fulfillment in prostitute writing. Don’t whore your writing skills. C’mon, guys, you’re worth more than that. (2) Hone your craft. Master all of the elements and you can become the Avatar—wait, what? Woops, I meant to say “skilled writer.” And (3) choose the best career path for you. Don’t worry about what other people are doing. Traditional publishing or self-publishing are both fine options, but you have to do what works best for you.

AUTHOR BIO:

author photoBlogger. Coffee junkie. Incurable nerd. And now, author. The titles she is most proud of are sister, auntie, and friend.

Growing up in a small town surrounded by cornfields, Kylie had nothing better to do than fantasize about unicorns and elves. As an adult, she still refuses to grow up, and spends most of her time creating stories of comedic fantasy. When she is not writing, which is hardly ever, Kylie enjoys reading, drinking coffee, and spending time with her family and friends. She also runs, although she does not enjoy it so much.

Kylie currently resides in Indiana with her sister, nephew, horde of cats, and one very silly dog. If you would like to contact Kylie in regards to her writing, please follow her on:

Blog  |  Twitter  |  Facebook  |  Amazon Author Page  |  Goodreads

Buy a copy of The Quest for the Holy Something or Other in Paperback or on Kindle

 

Categories: author feature, author interview, book release, comedic fantasy, comedy | Tags: , , , ,

Between the Lines Blog Tour: Kill Me Now

Welcome to the Between the Lines Blog Tour for KILL ME NOW by Lawrence Fisher. I had the pleasure of reading Mr. Fisher’s book and I’m going to review it right here on this blog! Be sure to leave a comment on this post for a chance to WIN a FREE book.

Kill Me Now! is about Lawrence, a man in his late 40s dodging bullets deep in the dating battlefield while searching for the ONE. In Kill Me Now! Lawrence tries to decode the signals of his enigmatic opponent, often resulting in his hasty retreat. Why is she resting her head on her hand? Is she bored? Or is she interested? He finds himself in many humorous situations where he has no idea what he is doing and no idea how to maneuver through the skirmish. Trapped in the epicenter of the courting conflict, the motivating thought that sustains him is his strong belief that somewhere out there, she awaits.

Join Lawrence as he painfully stumbles through the mating minefield in search for his SOULMATE while silently wishing that he was elsewhere. Be warned, you will laugh!

Amazon Link

My Review: Kill Me Now is a humorous account of Lawrence Fisher’s true-life dating experiences. The book is part memoir, part dating advice. Though the book is riddled with humor and hilarious moments, there’s also a very human emotional side to this as the author talks about his own shyness and hang-ups in regards to the opposite sex and dating. There are a couple of creepy stories–not everyone in the dating world is nice (or sane), as the author recounts stories of some less-than-savory dating experiences. The dating minefield might have a few overly-possessive psychos or materialistic gold-diggers, but for the most part, the dating world is comprised of nice, everyday people who are looking for The One.

While Kill Me Now isn’t really geared toward me (old, married person with kids) and wasn’t something I could relate to, I could still appreciate the author’s struggle. I would recommend this book to anyone in the dating world who is looking for a little perspective and a lot of humor. I would also recommend this to anyone looking for light comedic reading.

My Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

About the Author:


Lawrence has been out on countless dates in search of his soulmate. Like most people he has found himself in many strange situations. However, he found that he could see the humor in each situation. Lawrence is a single guy in his late 40s. He has worked in computers and education for about 25 years and also holds a personal fitness trainer certification. He currently lives in Tel Aviv, Israel. Lawrence Fisher spends his days writing software tutorials and his nights in the endless search for the ONE. Will he find her? Or will there be book two out?

Website: http://killmenow.org

Lawrence is giving away two copies of his book tour wide. Please leave a comment with your email address and Between the Lines will enter you into the drawing.


Categories: comedy

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